checked by reality

Watched The Bridge last weekend.
I'm still dealing with the debris it left in my brain.

The Bridge
People suffer largely unnoticed while the rest of the world goes about its business. This is a documentary exploration of the mythic beauty of the Golden Gate Bridge, the most popular suicide destination in the world, and those drawn by its call. Director Eric Steel and his crew filmed the bridge during daylight hours from two separate locations for the entire year of 2004, recording most of the two dozen deaths in that year (and preventing several others.) They also taped interviews with friends, families and witnesses, who recount stories of struggles with depression, substance abuse and mental illness.

I knew going in that the film starkly showed people climbing over the rail and falling to their deaths. I knew that I was going to witness persons choosing to end their lives in a very final and somewhat public way. As much as we are conditioned by the violence and brutality we see on the evening news, this is akin in many ways to watching 9-11 footage. It's watching a beautiful day turn into something tragic. It's equal parts horrifying and at the same time, oddly familiar. And just seeing it once, certain images will sear themselves into your brain.

This film is not for everybody. It's a gut punch.
But it is also a very revealing statement about living with mental illness.

While I'm still unable to watch footage from 9-11, I watched this film twice over the weekend. Watching as people pace...lean against the rail...look out over the water...then make the decision to climb over in broad daylight with tourists just steps away from them and...let go. There is a certain epicness to it.

It was a somber puzzle that my brain kept trying to figure out.

As a filmmaker, I felt they handled the subject with a lot of respect. The music and editing did not attempt to enhance the emotion - there was no need to. The interviews with the witnesses and family filled out only some of what the image of the fall could not. Conversations with and memories of the victims - some mere moments before, most of them hours, days and years prior to the day on the bridge. It gives you a very small and fractal glimpse into the minds of the jumpers.

Like any conversation about suicide, it makes you think about people in your life that may have been touched by mental illness, depression and suicide.

That's where my brain is stuck. Between an image I saw on the screen and the stories of folks I know who have tried and/or succeeded in ending themselves.


Fortunately, Growing A Beard has arrived to scrub my brain.

In related news, Team Double Secret Probation came out of its summer hiatus and hit Quizzo this week. We came in second to our friendly nemesis "The Baracktobers." By two lousy questions! Arg.

queue

The next docs coming are The Bridge and Growin' A Beard.

While The Bridge is probably the farthest from the type of doc I'm working towards, I'm thinking that it may give me ideas on how to work with a limited material source. GAB just sounds like a ton of silly fun...and it's probably the shortest doc on my must-see list.

holy crap

Can't believe it's been over a month since I posted. August was full of peforming and then closing the play that our theater company was running. Then, to be honest, I was a bit crispy overall and had some family-type obligations that took up my free weekends.

I have been doing my homework though!
Last week I watched two docs - Air Guitar Nation and a pretty offbeat indie called Darkon.


Air Guitar Nation
Every August, the Air Guitar World Championships bring thousands of fans all the way to Oulu, Finland to see the world's best air guitarists battle it out for 60 seconds of mock stardom. For years, the USA was missing in action. Enter the first official US Air Guitar Championships. What starts as a friendly contest above a New York strip club becomes a battle of naked ambition played out on the national and, ultimately, the world stage. captures the explosion of competitive air guitar through the eyes of former world champions, fans and media, and through the personal rivalries of those trying to attain the title of "The best Air Guitarist in the world."

I have to say, I really enjoyed AGN - the way the filmmakers framed the story, I couldn't stop laughing. Although, I keep prefacing my recommendation to folks with, "it's the most stoopid subject matter for a film, but it was so fun to watch." I mean, the idea of filming people playing fake geetars...it's just insanity. And yet, the filmmakers pulled it off. They framed the competition well and focused on a hero and anti-hero (not quite a true villian) - and the most important thing is that they caught the joy and enthusiam of the action.

Unfortunately, Darkon didn't quite affect me the same way.


Darkon
Ordinary folks trade in their street clothes for medieval costumes, faux weaponry and full-contact battles. Darkon, a group that acts out fantasy war games based on complex rules and customs. Padded swords clash, armies advance and a ruler crosses the line, while off the battlefield, participants open up about what keeps them coming back for more.


This is a great story about a really specific sub-culture. Beyond a live-action role playing (LARP) game, it's very specific to these folks creating this particular fantasy. There are a lot of influences: Tolkien, myth, historical figures and battles. Unlike Civil War re-enactments, they are not re-creating, but fantasizing in their creation.

There are parts to this film that I think are marvelous, but as a whole, it left me a bit wanting. Mainly, I think the folks being filmed were waaaaay too aware that they were being filmed and were very concerned about coming off as silly or cultish. There was a bit of stiffness that ebbs and flows throughout. And there are some scenes that were obviously staged to give the audience a more cinematic feel and to raise the stakes. Still, the Darkon folks really did let the doc crew into the middle of the fray. One of my favorite shots was during a huge war battle, a knight/warrior yells directly into the lens, "MOVE THAT CAMERA OUT OF MY WAY." Kudos to the filmmakers for leaving that in. Sweet.

While the crew had full access to the fantasy side of the story, all but one of the LARPers kept the camera crew at a pretty sizeable distance when it came to their real-world lives. You get flashes of home and work, but you don't get to see too much of the reality and other parts of their "normal" lives. It's mainly focused on Darkon and for 86 minutes...it gets a bit "Cliff Clavin" at times.

When they do show folks in the real world, it's mostly with them doing things that they are, well, bored by. Work, laundry, etc. And to the point, while this may be the only outlet that interests these folks, it made the people seem somewhat one dimensional at times.

In an effort to show how committed and/or serious they were to the "game," there seemed to be a lack of a sense of humor throughout. When I say humor, I don't mean to ridicule or mock these folks, but to get a sense of the LARPers sense of humor. There are tiny bits of it scattered, but you really don't get a feel for it.

The two main LARPers they worked with did an alternative commentary track which I found much more lively, relaxed and full of the sense of humor that was missing from the doc. Then again, at a certain point in the conversation, the Darkon-speak got really self-referential, to the point that I felt left out.


It made me wonder if us theater-types ever do that to our "civilian" friends.
How annoying. Oof.

Although, I did learn a lesson.
Never trust elf mercenaries.


These are both worth renting, by the way!